You'll WHAT??!!
Pesky, pesky humans.
Always interfering with nature.
Just because a cat seems relaxed, doesn't mean you can mess with us.
Consider what those CIA dudes did to my poor cousin.
Just because we have soft, padded feet, and acute hearing, doesn't mean we can be used as "spies".
Yup, you heard it right.
They wanted us to spy on the Kremlin and Soviet embassies in the 60s.
So, here's what that acronym did:
"In an hour-long procedure, a veterinary surgeon implanted a microphone in the cat's ear canal, a small radio transmitter at the base of its skull, and a thin wire into its fur.[2] This would allow the cat to innocuously record and transmit sound from its surroundings."
-- Wikipedia
They called the project "Acoustic Kitty".
How unimaginative.
And you know how much it cost?
US$20-M.
Har har.
Did it work?
"The first Acoustic Kitty mission was to eavesdrop on two men in a park outside the Soviet embassy in Washington, D.C. The cat was released nearby, but was hit and allegedly killed by a taxi almost immediately."
-- Wikipedia
To add insult to injury, humans blamed us for the botched results.
"However, this was disputed in 2013 by Robert Wallace, a former director of the Office of Technical Service, who said that the project was abandoned due to the difficulty of training the cat to behave as required, and "the equipment was taken out of the cat; the cat was re-sewn for a second time, and lived a long and happy life afterwards".[5] Subsequent tests also failed.[1] Shortly thereafter the project was considered a failure and declared to be a total loss."
-- Wikipedia
Talking about trauma.
They could have given us that 20-mil instead.
We could have bought tons of kitty food.
We could have put up a home for the homeless house cat.
We could also have put a restraining order on humans.
We could also have saved humans the trouble.
Obviously, the dudes didn't know simple cat psychology.
-- You can't train cats.
-- We want to be left alone.
-- And yes, we get run over easily.
I mean, you let us cross a busy street, hello.
Have you no mercy at all?
We're not lab rats.
We're not lab cats.
We're comfort creatures.
We're GOD's creatures, too.
JESUS said:
Matthew 10:30
King James Version
30 But the very hairs of your head
are all numbered.
Does fur count?
We'll try another:
Matthew 10:29
King James Version
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing?
and one of them shall not fall on the ground
without your Father.
Sounds just about right.
Although JESUS said these of humans --
Matthew 10:31
King James Version
31 Fear ye not therefore,
ye are of more value than many sparrows.
doesn't mean you're gonna put transmitters in us.
And let us fend for ourselves, as we cross mean streets.
You're forgetting another trait we have.
House cats, remember?
We're house pets.
And you're...never mind.
Spying must end.
Spying is funny.
Spying is so lame.
And we're not in the game.
Neither are we fur game.
Related material:
Image: Pxfuel
