Thursday, December 17, 2020

NEVER argue with a cat

 

Proverbs 21:9

King James Version

9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, 

than with a brawling woman in a wide house.


Why is it a foolish idea to argue with cats?

If you know cats, you'll understand.

If you've lived with cats, you'll keep your cool.

If you respect cats, you won't question their feline authority.

Cats are cool, calm, and yes, a bit crazy.


RULE number 1:

Never argue with a cat.

You'll blow a fuse.

We're not trying to be cool.

Yes, yes, yes.

We admit we can be maddening sometimes.


You give us gourmet food.

We sniff.

We sneeze.

We scat.

After we've had our food, we leave.

Not even a thank you.


Sure, we snuggle against you.

Then, you let your dogs out.

And they scamper all over the place.

Literally destroying our feline peace.


Of course, there are exceptions.

Some Goliaths are tender towards us Davids.

Dogs and cats can co-exist harmoniously.

And we're grateful for that.


Most days, you can find us peaceful.

(If left alone, after a feeding.)

Content.

Purring.

Curled up.

Occasionally opening a lid.

Wondering why humans are all over the place.

Wondering what all the fuss is about.

And we fear for our minds.

We need to avoid your dystopia.


True, we were kittens once.

All over the place, too.

Ah, but when we became older, we changed.

We now have a certain degree of sophistication.

They call it "grace".

We call it cool, calm, collected.


We asked scribe to get this blog together.

So you can understand us better.

She gets us.

We're an open book to her.

Rare human, that one.


What's that?

Rule number 2?

Just never argue with a cat.

Period.


Image: Smallpdf


Cats HAVE an answer for EVERYTHING

 

Acts 26:25

King James Version

25 But he said, I am not mad, most noble Festus; 

but speak forth the words of truth and soberness.


By now, you've probably seen our famous smart relative on social media.

He simply drives the poor woman mad.

He has dead pan answers for her accusations.

My scribe especially looks forward to his unapologetic remarks.

For she understands cats.

Lived with them, most of her life.

She knows we can get away with things.

Most of the time.

I mean, how can you get mad at an animal?

A magnificent animal, mind you.

If you like us, you'll like this meme.

If you don't like us, you'll like the woman.

If you've got a short fuse, you'll go nuts.

Remember, we're not mad.

We're not even getting even.

We just like calling things as they are.

Just so you know.


BONUS

Want to make your own cat-human meme?

Click this link, and create away!


Image: Smallpdf


Updated 30 December 2023


Wednesday, December 16, 2020

The cat's GUIDE to his galaxy

 


Genesis 1:25
King James Version
25 And God made the beast of the earth 
after his kind, and cattle after their kind, 
and every thing that creepeth upon the earth 
after his kind: 
and God saw that it was good.


Yeah, I know.

We cats are magnificent.

Dogs are friendly.

Cats are magnificent.

Dogs don't mind.

Suits us just fine.

I mean, we're elegant.

Dogs are kinda all over the place.

We're private.

Dogs aren't.

We're not putting down dogs.

We just are.

Just as dogs, just are.

Sometimes, we get along.

Some days, we are chased by them.

I suppose if you bring us together when we're all kittens, and puppies, we can't tell the difference.

And we may just bond.

Sure, there are kind great danes.

And there are impossible persians.

All in all, I suppose we get along.

That is IF dogs respect our space.

For we do need a LOT of space.

Away from them.

The rest of the time, tiny cardboard boxes suit us just fine.

A place to curl up in.

Now, about humans.

That's for the next post.


A word about our scribe:

We heard about her among the cat circles.

Heard she's a GOD-fearing writer, and researcher.

Who happens to like cats, ahem. 

She used to ghost blog for a cat company. 

Seems they were pleased, and gave her all cat articles to write

To our great delight, of course.

-- CAT community


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Updated 30 December 2023


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