Friday, June 10, 2022

FUNNY felines

 

Acts 10:34

King James Version

34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, 

Of a truth I perceive that 

God is no respecter of persons:


Cats are funny.

Expressive.

Curious.

Private.

Playful.

Endearing.

Fascinating.

Nimble.

Even astounding.


These nimble creatures delight a childlike heart.

Just don't squelch him.

He loves his freedom.

You see, cats are pretty private animals.

Unless they're kittens.


That's when they're public figures.

They love to play, to be played with.

As adults, please don't bother them.

Unless they're hungry.

Or cold.

That's when they like curling up on your lap.

And sometimes, they knead at your thighs.

Your turn to cringe.


I was once at a government office in the big city.

The big, orange cat (they have cats there?) headed for me.

They know a cat person when they see one.

I knew the huge claws won't be thigh-friendly, though.

I didn't want my skinny thighs cross-stitched.

Avoided the poor one, till I got out of there.

Still, she kept going for my lap.


If you don't like cats, you'll never go to that office.

Cross-stitcher will scare the lap out of you.

You'll send a messenger.

But I like cats.

Just not HUGE cats who need a pin cushion.

I guess you could say his face looked like that photo above.

Miffed that a cat lover refused his attention.

Mind you, those are rare times.

Even for this scribe.


A cousin had a large, orange cat, too.

But he was neutered, and declawed.

So, all he does is sleep, looking at your forlornly.

As if the whole world dropped on his head.

As if he had nothing to live for.

No one could get him to smile.


One day, we couldn't find him.

Cousin rode a bike around the village.

We looked everywhere in the house, too.

Nowhere to be found.

We gave up.

Only to find big, fat Jack was under a low bench after all.

How did he fit in there?

You know animals.

They can be flat as a rug.


Poor, fat Jack not only lost his smile.

He lost his voice, too.

Normally, cats say "miaow".

I didn't hear a squeak from him.

Is that what neutering and declawing do?

I declare all cats be left alone.


Cats are so low maintenance.

So easy to train.

Just provide their food, water, cat litter.

Teach them not to claw at furniture.

You don't need cat psychology.

Just leave them alone.

Until they need you.


They're comfort-crazy.

They can always find a warm spot to sleep in.

But food-wise, sometimes they can be choosy.


One cat we had turned up his nose at the food we bought.

The pack was on sale.

Cat refused to eat it.

He knew a cheap thing when he sniffed one.

He'd rather starve.

Snobbish creatures, these felines.

We never bought that pack again.


Where I live now, cats eat anything palatable.

One time, I saw my neighbor's cat looking funny, shaking his head.

He had a tiny bone stuck between his jaw.

I didn't know how to get it out.

Except if I brought him to a vet.

He was an abandoned cat, left by a neighbor.

But I knew he'd find a way to get it out.

Cats often do.


But he did look funny that way.

This was one of those rambunctious cats.

Ate too much.

He got the bone out himself.

Lesson learned.

Funny felines.

True survivalists.


Image: Unsplash


CAT tail TALES

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