CAT tail TALES

 

Psalm 126:2-3

King James Version

2 Then was our mouth filled with laughter, 

and our tongue with singing: 

then said they among the heathen, 

The Lord hath done great things for them.

3 The Lord hath done great things for us; 

whereof we are glad.

Ever had a chat, then here comes cat?

Waving that expressive tail?

Lording it over?

Leave it to a cat.

To end all debate.

To end all seriousness.

To end all intellectual discourse.

I've had dozens of cats in my lifetime.

But Rocco, the cat above, beats them all.

And that's just his tail, mind you.

What a tall tale it told.

Apart from their naturally-funny faces, cats have such expressive tails.

Graceful, funny, fluffy, waving, long tails.

That curl around your leg, signifying ownership (of you).

Or whip warningly, when faced with adversaries.

Or wave around the floor, as they sit still.

But ever-ready to pounce, should the need arise.

And that tail will surely rise.

But nothing can beat ginger Rocco above.

Who I've permanently "adopted" in my heart.

Even as he belongs to someone else, far away.

His startled owner is a member of the UK parliament.

Does he realize he's got the best PR manager?

How a cat's tail tell such tall tales.

They've become legendary.

We learn of two other "varieties":

Typha

Phleum

Reminds me of "typhoon".

And "plume".

As wordsmith, perhaps I'll combine both.

And call it "typlume".

Maybe, "typhlume".

I don't really know.

That ought to be a name for the next cat.

Especially with a character to boot.

GOD knew what He was doing when He created cats.

He wanted to keep us childlike.

Smiling, laughing, tickled.

GOD has His own brand of humor.

Which only a childlike heart can detect.

May you have such a heart!

Proverbs 17:22

King James Version

22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: 

but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Related material:

HUMOR

GOD's HUMOR

CHILDLIKE series

Having a CHEERFUL heart

The CHILDLIKE heart

CATS and spying

 

You'll WHAT??!!

Pesky, pesky humans.

Always interfering with nature.

Just because a cat seems relaxed, doesn't mean you can mess with us.

Consider what those CIA dudes did to my poor cousin.

Just because we have soft, padded feet, and acute hearing, doesn't mean we can be used as "spies".

Yup, you heard it right.

They wanted us to spy on the Kremlin and Soviet embassies in the 60s.

So, here's what that acronym did:

"In an hour-long procedure, a veterinary surgeon implanted a microphone in the cat's ear canal, a small radio transmitter at the base of its skull, and a thin wire into its fur.[2] This would allow the cat to innocuously record and transmit sound from its surroundings."

-- Wikipedia

They called the project "Acoustic Kitty".

How unimaginative.

And you know how much it cost?

US$20-M.

Har har.

Did it work?

"The first Acoustic Kitty mission was to eavesdrop on two men in a park outside the Soviet embassy in Washington, D.C. The cat was released nearby, but was hit and allegedly killed by a taxi almost immediately."

-- Wikipedia

To add insult to injury, humans blamed us for the botched results.

"However, this was disputed in 2013 by Robert Wallace, a former director of the Office of Technical Service, who said that the project was abandoned due to the difficulty of training the cat to behave as required, and "the equipment was taken out of the cat; the cat was re-sewn for a second time, and lived a long and happy life afterwards".[5] Subsequent tests also failed.[1] Shortly thereafter the project was considered a failure and declared to be a total loss."

-- Wikipedia

Talking about trauma.

They could have given us that 20-mil instead.

We could have bought tons of kitty food.

We could have put up a home for the homeless house cat.

We could also have put a restraining order on humans.

We could also have saved humans the trouble.

Obviously, the dudes didn't know simple cat psychology.

-- You can't train cats.

-- We want to be left alone.

-- And yes, we get run over easily.

I mean, you let us cross a busy street, hello.

Have you no mercy at all?

We're not lab rats.

We're not lab cats.

We're comfort creatures.

We're GOD's creatures, too.

JESUS said:

Matthew 10:30

King James Version

30 But the very hairs of your head 

are all numbered.

Does fur count?

We'll try another:

Matthew 10:29

King James Version

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? 

and one of them shall not fall on the ground 

without your Father.

Sounds just about right.

Although JESUS said these of humans --

Matthew 10:31

King James Version

31 Fear ye not therefore, 

ye are of more value than many sparrows.

doesn't mean you're gonna put transmitters in us.

And let us fend for ourselves, as we cross mean streets.

You're forgetting another trait we have.

House cats, remember?

We're house pets.

And you're...never mind.

Spying must end.

Spying is funny.

Spying is so lame.

And we're not in the game.

Neither are we fur game.

Related material:

On NOT spying

Image: Pxfuel

FUNNY felines

 

Acts 10:34

King James Version

34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, 

Of a truth I perceive that 

God is no respecter of persons:

Cats are funny.

Expressive.

Curious.

Private.

Playful.

Endearing.

Fascinating.

Nimble.

Even astounding.

These nimble creatures delight a childlike heart.

Just don't squelch him.

He loves his freedom.

You see, cats are pretty private animals.

Unless they're kittens.

That's when they're public figures.

They love to play, to be played with.

As adults, please don't bother them.

Unless they're hungry.

Or cold.

That's when they like curling up on your lap.

And sometimes, they knead at your thighs.

Your turn to cringe.

I was once at a government office in the big city.

The big, orange cat (they have cats there?) headed for me.

They know a cat person when they see one.

I knew the huge claws won't be thigh-friendly, though.

I didn't want my skinny thighs cross-stitched.

Avoided the poor one, till I got out of there.

Still, she kept going for my lap.

If you don't like cats, you'll never go to that office.

Cross-stitcher will scare the lap out of you.

You'll send a messenger.

But I like cats.

Just not HUGE cats who need a pin cushion.

I guess you could say his face looked like that photo above.

Miffed that a cat lover refused his attention.

Mind you, those are rare times.

Even for this scribe.

A cousin had a large, orange cat, too.

But he was neutered, and declawed.

So, all he does is sleep, looking at your forlornly.

As if the whole world dropped on his head.

As if he had nothing to live for.

No one could get him to smile.

One day, we couldn't find him.

Cousin rode a bike around the village.

We looked everywhere in the house, too.

Nowhere to be found.

We gave up.

Only to find big, fat Jack was under a low bench after all.

How did he fit in there?

You know animals.

They can be flat as a rug.

Poor, fat Jack not only lost his smile.

He lost his voice, too.

Normally, cats say "miaow".

I didn't hear a squeak from him.

Is that what neutering and declawing do?

I declare all cats be left alone.

Cats are so low maintenance.

So easy to train.

Just provide their food, water, cat litter.

Teach them not to claw at furniture.

You don't need cat psychology.

Just leave them alone.

Until they need you.

They're comfort-crazy.

They can always find a warm spot to sleep in.

But food-wise, sometimes they can be choosy.

One cat we had turned up his nose at the food we bought.

The pack was on sale.

Cat refused to eat it.

He knew a cheap thing when he sniffed one.

He'd rather starve.

Snobbish creatures, these felines.

We never bought that pack again.

Where I live now, cats eat anything palatable.

One time, I saw my neighbor's cat looking funny, shaking his head.

He had a tiny bone stuck between his jaw.

I didn't know how to get it out.

Except if I brought him to a vet.

He was an abandoned cat, left by a neighbor.

But I knew he'd find a way to get it out.

Cats often do.

But he did look funny that way.

This was one of those rambunctious cats.

Ate too much.

He got the bone out himself.

Lesson learned.

Funny felines.

True survivalists.

Image: Unsplash

NEVER argue with a cat

 

Proverbs 21:9

King James Version

9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, 

than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Why is it a foolish idea to argue with cats?

If you know cats, you'll understand.

If you've lived with cats, you'll keep your cool.

If you respect cats, you won't question their feline authority.

Cats are cool, calm, and yes, a bit crazy.

RULE number 1:

Never argue with a cat.

You'll blow a fuse.

We're not trying to be cool.

Yes, yes, yes.

We admit we can be maddening sometimes.

You give us gourmet food.

We sniff.

We sneeze.

We scat.

After we've had our food, we leave.

Not even a thank you.

Sure, we snuggle against you.

Then, you let your dogs out.

And they scamper all over the place.

Literally destroying our feline peace.

Of course, there are exceptions.

Some Goliaths are tender towards us Davids.

Dogs and cats can co-exist harmoniously.

And we're grateful for that.

Most days, you can find us peaceful.

(If left alone, after a feeding.)

Content.

Purring.

Curled up.

Occasionally opening a lid.

Wondering why humans are all over the place.

Wondering what all the fuss is about.

And we fear for our minds.

We need to avoid your dystopia.

True, we were kittens once.

All over the place, too.

Ah, but when we became older, we changed.

We now have a certain degree of sophistication.

They call it "grace".

We call it cool, calm, collected.

We asked scribe to get this blog together.

So you can understand us better.

She gets us.

We're an open book to her.

Rare human, that one.

What's that?

Rule number 2?

Just never argue with a cat.

Period.

Image: Smallpdf

Cats HAVE an answer for EVERYTHING

 

Acts 26:25

King James Version

25 But he said, I am not mad, most noble Festus; 

but speak forth the words of truth and soberness.

By now, you've probably seen our famous smart relative on social media.

He simply drives the poor woman mad.

He has dead pan answers for her accusations.

My scribe especially looks forward to his unapologetic remarks.

For she understands cats.

Lived with them, most of her life.

She knows we can get away with things.

Most of the time.

I mean, how can you get mad at an animal?

A magnificent animal, mind you.

If you like us, you'll like this meme.

If you don't like us, you'll like the woman.

If you've got a short fuse, you'll go nuts.

Remember, we're not mad.

We're not even getting even.

We just like calling things as they are.

Just so you know.

BONUS: 

Want to make your own cat-human meme?

Click this link, and create away!

Image: Smallpdf

Updated 30 December 2023

The cat's GUIDE to his galaxy

 

Genesis 1:25

King James Version

25 And God made the beast of the earth 

after his kind, and cattle after their kind, 

and every thing that creepeth upon the earth 

after his kind: 

and God saw that it was good.

Yeah, I know.

We cats are magnificent.

Dogs are friendly.

Cats are magnificent.

Dogs don't mind.

Suits us just fine.

I mean, we're elegant.

Dogs are kinda all over the place.

We're private.

Dogs aren't.

We're not putting down dogs.

We just are.

Just as dogs, just are.

Sometimes, we get along.

Some days, we are chased by them.

I suppose if you bring us together when we're all kittens, and puppies, we can't tell the difference.

And we may just bond.

Sure, there are kind great danes.

And there are impossible persians.

All in all, I suppose we get along.

That is IF dogs respect our space.

For we do need a LOT of space.

Away from them.

The rest of the time, tiny cardboard boxes suit us just fine.

A place to curl up in.

Now, about humans.

That's for the next post.

A word about our scribe:

We heard about her among the cat circles.

Heard she's a GOD-fearing writer, and researcher.

Who happens to like cats, ahem. 

She used to ghost blog for a cat company. 

Seems they were pleased, and gave her all cat articles to write

To our great delight, of course.

-- CAT community

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Updated 30 December 2023